Do you ever find yourself being less-than excited for a friend or colleague when things just seem to be going perfectly for them? They got a new apartment, amazing job, a happy relationship, and you love them, but just can’t seem to be happy for them? Jealousy. Happens to the best of us… and often when you adore someone (like your friends and family) jealousy can feel even worse!
Being jealous doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad friend! Its human, its natural, its inevitable. However! We need to continue to combat jealousy in order to foster healthy, happy relationships. The following are two strategies I’ve used to help me control jealousy.
1. Be Aware
The hardest part of jealousy is accepting and understanding it. It is definitely easier said than done… but making a conscious effort to notice your jealous behaviours goes a long way. If you are feeling angry, sad, or overall defeated when someone in your life has good news, try to understand what triggered the upset and if it’s something you can address.
For me, I found that I wasn’t always excited for my loved ones when they got promotions or new job opportunities. This helped me to realize I wasn’t happy in my career, and felt insecure.
2. Be Busy
The easiest way to combat jealousy is to be confident and secure in all aspects of life. Will that ever happen? Who’s to say? But… if you fill your days with meaningful and stimulating activities (a fulfilling job, good friends, volunteer activities, exercise, etc.), you’re one step closer. Setting and achieving goals makes us feel good and helps us towards self-improvement, not the defamation of others.
Realistically, jealousy will always affect us. It is human nature to want what we don’t have. The difference in maturity is the evolution from being upset about not having it, to working towards having it. Keep setting goals, keep working towards them, and keep rewarding yourself. The more you love yourself, the less you envy others.